“Do others feel the same way?” I asked.
“Yes, there is general frustration.”
“Exactly, what does the vice president do that causes stress?”
“His meetings last way too long and we still do not agree on what we need to do. He sometimes gives different messages to our staff members than to us. When someone brings up an issue, he listens. Then he joins others in identifying why it is an issue, but we do not identify a solution.”
When experiencing noisome relations with someone (including your boss), it is necessary to communicate honestly with the person. But communication with another about a troubling behavior is akin to walking on tacks.
Pick one, and only one, issue and avoid any mention of what you think the boss may be doing wrong. Rather, begin with something like, “I think we may be missing some opportunities here. During our meetings, how about I list the options being discussed? At some point, I can summarize the ideas and see if we can get support for one of them.”
Don’t expect an immediate miracle turnaround. Be patient, stay the course, and look for small improvements.